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I'm liking where this is going...

Horoscope - May 9, 2011

You may attempt to let loose today, even if you can't afford to flirt with the edge. The problem is that you must stay singularly focused on your responsibilities over the next week. Unfortunately, your normal powers of analysis could leave you cold because you cannot make sense of what's happening now. Thankfully, things become less complex once you acknowledge that you don't even know the part you are playing, let alone the script.

Well, this DOES make some sense to me. And I've been trying to focus on my responsibilities instead of letting loose. I don't know what you would call what I've been doing now. I go to the studio. I work on side projects. Then I come home and work on random other projects and apply for jobs. I've reached a flat line sort of. Just waiting for something to pull me up.

Mindset

When things aren't going the way I'd prefer them to go, I often find myself changing my mindset to better fit the situation as if I was changing the lens on a camera to focus properly in the current scene. It's an actual physical thing I can feel in my head when I change this "focus". I can't really explain it, but I know it's there. It's kind of like how my blog keeps going from wanting to find someone to be close to and then suddenly I'm done with that idea. I just hit a switch and my mind is changed. I suppose it's a sort of defense mechanism at times. I really notice it when someone catches my interest, it's like I flip a bunch of switches and all motives are to getting to know them better, but if I lose interest for one reason or another, the switches flip another way and I don't care as much. I'm not sure if I control it, but I feel the mindset change. It's probably the same thing that keeps me from bouncing off the walls when something exciting happens. I'll be excited, but I won't show it. I think the "Dance like a maniac" switch gets clicked off until very very special occasions...which I have yet to experience because I don't think I've ever danced for being excited about something. I want to be that excited one day....XD

Trusis,
Nasia :P

Walls

When the spaghetti just won't stick, find a new wall. If you see me in Walgreens, Home Depot. ColdStones, Jamba Juice, Chilis, or any other store/restaurant on Century, you should know that that spaghetti stuck to that wall. For a while I was kind of avoiding getting a "normal person job" as I've been calling it, but now is the time that I need to stare that wall in the face and fling spaghetti like a mad noodle.

Trusis,
Nasia

(Also, I'm blogging through another account to make my vlogging and blogging a more organized experience for myself.)

Who Saves the Hero?

I've asked this a few times on here. Who saves the hero? This time, it isn't about me. See, my mom is a person who does her best to make sure everyone else is alright. She goes through all of the stress and bending over backwards to make everyone else's lives easier. She's the unappreciated hero. Well, unappreciated by most. She's the person I hold responsible for all of my accomplishments. Without her I would be nothing and for that she is more than just my hero. I go to her for everything. But in her times of need, and stress, and worry, who does she have to go to? When all of the rest of the world is sitting on her shoulders or trying to stab her back, who can she look to? I look to her in those times. See...the people that she should be able to look to are sometimes the people causing her to go crazy in the first place. And then the people that aren't driving her crazy somehow manage to make things worse. That's why I always do my best to show my mom that I appreciate her. I know she knows that I do and I know her just seeing me able to do the things I do is enough for her, but it isn't enough for me. The things my mom accomplishes is exactly what motivates me to believe I can do anything. Everything she puts her mind to, she gets done. No, she isn't perfect, but she never falls on her back in failure when things go wrong. Somehow she manages to pull off everything at the same time and do it with such tenacity and grace. My mom is Superwoman. I know I'm no fan of Superman, but Superwoman is a whole different entity. The things my mom puts up with aren't things she should have to put up with, but she does it anyway...for the good of her family and loved ones. She's the lion forever protecting, hunting, guiding, and watching over everything. She takes pride in her family, but doesn't boast over her accomplishments. She's independent and strong. And even in her times of struggle, she stays tough and fights through the storm. It's not fair, but I guess God puts only one in every family. One lion to hold it all together..

so...who saves the hero?

The next in line.

Happy Week Early Mother's Day,
Nasia

Back to the Spaghetti

After my conversation with Jim last night, the next few things I'm going to say might seem like they contradict what I was "arguing" with him about last night, but they don't...any who...I found myself with another possible interest. I don't think it's one I've spoken of before. At least right now I can't remember him being on here. Anyway, we've been talking a bit. Nothing anywhere near serious. Just getting to know each other better and things of that nature. A bit of flirting. I can admit that. But nothing enough to say that this is really going anywhere. Well, the whole point of this blog is to say that I think that interest has sort of fallen through. Reasons aren't necessary. And I'm going to admit that Jim was right about me being all over the place. Because I am. I think I'm figuring it out though. I'm back where I was when I moved to Florida. Looking for myself. But not in the same way. Because I've found a lot of me since then. I guess it's more that I'm doing some more growing right now and because of it, everything is a little out of whack. I go through this thing. I don't really know what it is, but it's a pattern that has come through my life every few years/months/weeks. It just happens. What it is is change. But not just any kind of change. Things like moving from one city to another. Changing schools. Rearranging my furniture. Haha. Moving to Florida was a big change that caused some readjustment. Moving back to Cali was another one. And now I'm settled into my new room and I have some kind of work and I have a few more people to add to my list of hang out buds. It's the perfect time for that pattern to want to kick in. It's like an instinct I have to need to change things. And it's not that I want to rearrange my room. :P I'm rearranging myself. Metamorphosis. Like I said in my other post. It's like if a butterfly kept going into a cocoon and becoming something else. I'm in the cocoon right now. Except the way this cocoon works, I keep coming out briefly, which is quite uncomfortable, like a werewolf only partially through his transformation back into a man and half of his body is still wolf or something like that. I pop out for a bit and in my strange form, I cause some havoc for myself. One of these days I'll get through this transformation. Until then, I just have to work with it. My heart is in fair condition. My head is on my shoulders. And my feet have been taking m up the Jesus stairs about 3-4 times every weekend. So I think I'm doing pretty good. I'm just in morph mode and I'm craving a new scene. Just like when I moved to Orange County halfway through high school. I don't forget what I'm moving from. I just crave that constant change. I don't know what it is...a reflection of my childhood? Maybe. Something to do with being an artist? Possibly. Am I actually a caterpillar? No! :P That's for certain.

But yea I got off topic...the title is about spaghetti and that's what I meant to get at. I'm back to throwing the spaghetti on the wall in several aspects of my life. Waiting to see which sticks...

It's Morphin' Time (shush Jim)
Nasia :P

30 Days Are Done

Well, it's the end of the Picture a Day for 30 Days thingermaguy. Also, it's the end of my facebook break. What do I do now? The same things I've been doing before of course :P