Disconnected

I feel like I've come to a point where writing doesn't even get the point across anymore. People don't even read things fully anymore. They skim it. They get the gist of it, but they don't put the time or effort into understanding it. At least, not the same amount that you put into writing it out.

You know what, it's the same with talking to people, too. They just listen for the main points, but they don't care about the details. "You want me to paint the house yellow? Okay doing it now!" And you're still standing there trying to explain that it has to be a soft yellow because you don't want to be the brightest house on the block, but it's too late. They already ran off to paint the house yellow. Crayola yellow.

I try my best to really listen to people when they're telling me things. Sometimes, I get bored and I understand that happens. I understand that I may bore people sometimes as well. Everyone isn't going to be as enthusiastic about things as you are. Everyone isn't going to car about what you're saying. I think what I'm trying to say is care about the person who wrote the long paragraph for you to read or who wants to tell you this story they're so excited about.

People used to put the time in. I think things like Facebook and twitter have influenced people to be this way. They want something short and sweet and then scroll to the next one. They do it every day to the point that it's what they feel is normal and everything else is TLDR: Too Long Didn't Read.

This is happening to everything. Look at Vine. It's youtube for ADD kids. At one point, youtube used to be youtube for ADD kids. Just 7 seconds of your attention please! Is being so connected worth anything at all when you don't even care about the connections you're making?

Look at Justin Bieber. He's become a little asshole. Why? Because he doesn't care about his fans. He has millions of them. He spits on a few, oh well, there are a million more. He has no respect.

Media has no respect. They want to feed your hungry little duck lips with all the sweet junk they can cook up in their billion dollar office buildings. And you eat it up. Why do you eat it? You think it has some sort of substance and nutrients to sustain your life. To make you not "bored".

If you're bored, you're an idiot. End of story. READ A BOOK. LEARN SOMETHING. Take part in the things in life that uplift you as a person. Get interested in deeper things. You're bored because you're swimming in a puddle hoping to surf and scuba dive and see beautiful fish and coral reefs. You need a deeper body of water for things like that, buddy.

But you won't leave that puddle because society brings you a new rubber duck right before you do. They look for trends. They see when people are losing interest in things. They get paid to do this. They get paid WELL. You're bored? Here's our newest line of "Puddle Glitter". Now, your puddle sparkles in the daylight!

And just when that gets boring...wait! Now we have glow in the dark sparkles! So it sparkles at night, too!

You're all becoming a bunch of illiterates with an attention span shorter than your favorite Vine video. I bet you just skip to your favorite parts, right? Your favorite part of 7 seconds?

Why do you think we have the term "Grammar Nazi"? It's because the majority of people online has become unable to use proper grammar so they resort to name calling. Pick on the one that's "different"...even if different is better for you.

I'm done with this blog for now...

- Mous3

Reading Between the BS

I don't understand people that say things like:
"Can I throw out your chocolate cake because it's calling my name?"

And you say that they can control themselves not to eat the cake for their own health reasons,

But they say that it's difficult and that you can't point out their gut and such because of the temptation YOU are putting in front of THEM.

And then you answer that they should be able to control themselves not to eat someone else's cake anyway,

And they respond with:
"I am, but my point is that it's just going to sit there and get moldy and smell bad."

I thought your point was that you can't control yourself to not eat the cake!

To me, this comes down to: You just wanna throw out my cake.

Everything else is just a reason you're giving yourself to do it.

You've dug this hole and now you're pulling at anything to climb out.

I'm not in the hole with you.

And if I were,

I could easily climb out

Because I exercise

And control how much cake I eat...

Be responsible for what YOU do...

It's YOUR life...

And don't go and offer someone else's cake to another person the next day like it's yours to give away...

If people wanna leave their cake to mold even after you suggested tossing it, let them.

It's their cake to do whatever the heck they want with it...

Especially if it's in their fridge...

Here's a phrase you can quote me on:
"If you're gonna leave crumbs, at least be the one buying the bread."

Peace and Love and Stuff,
Mous3

Important Rant

I've come to realize something that's really, really lame. People don't care about you. That's not entirely true, but let me explain what I mean. It might just be me...which is still really unfortunate and saddening, but whatevers, just read on...

I don't even know how to start explaining...

Pretty much, it's like this: There are people that I care about (friends, family, etc.) that put on a "front" (in quotes because I don't really know what it is, but that's the best word for it) that they want me around, wanna hang with me, miss me, wanna see me, blah blah blah, but when I'm available (and for the last month I've been very available) I'm the last to be thought about. I might be seeing things wrong, but I'm only a priority to people when they need something from me. They don't try to see me or talk to me just because they want to. They do it when I can offer them something or when it's convenient. Right now, I can't really offer much, and I've been trying to be around. One of the main reasons I moved back here is because I wanted to be closer to these people. All the time I was gone they wanted me around and now that I'm here, they don't come see me.

There are, of course, people that DON'T fit into that paragraph up there, and I'm very grateful to have those people. I'm grateful for all of them, the others just make it hard to care about being grateful.

This video reminded me of a lot of great things. One of those things is that my world is only as big as the people in it and it feels very tiny and I'm suffocating in the loneliness. Of course, having a car and job would help with that a lot because I could just go all over and pay for it. But the video reminded me of another thing, which is that if you're unhappy with things, change them, and I did, BUT I'm still unhappy which means...

I NEED TO CHANGE THINGS AGAIN

It's just very difficult...these things that I need to change...I don't know exactly how to change them. I need to be more of a people person. I need to know how to talk, but more-so, how to SPEAK, and speak UP. I do sometimes, but I don't know what triggers it...and when I notice that I'm NOT doing it, I feel like I need to stop for a second and fix myself, but it's difficult to make a pit stop in the middle of things. It's not exactly a concrete event like in NASCAR. There's no guided lane to pit stop. In life, you just choose to do it. And choices are HARD, man...

How do you make yourself not fear the future? I'm not Will Smith's son in After Earth and I'm not fighting monsters for my survival. The subtler, less extreme scenarios always feel so much more difficult.

I'm way off topic...

I just wish people showed their care and appreciation for me more. The people that do, do it well, and the people that don't, need to realize that I'm not gonna be here every time they need me and I'm not always going to say yes just because I happen to be here and I can. I say yes to things because I want to. I want to help. I want to be shown gratitude. I want to make a good difference in people's lives. I know they won't know until I SPEAK UP, but I've always got a "but". Some reason why I won't.

ugh -_____-

I annoy myself.

Death

Death,

What are you?

What ARE you?

I can't wrap my mind around you. I can't look behind you. I can't see through you.

But you pick and prod away at my heart strings.

You phantom harp player.

Coming and going as you please

With not so much as a whisper in the night

As you pass

Not even a goodbye.

You have taken the most God-loving, to even those who love to joke about him, to those who could never even fathom what a God could even be.

Behind you is a trail of the fearful, the hopeful, and the confused...

My mind aches to unravel you...

But your language is of an unspoken tongue

You are cryptic in your crypt keeping...

I don't understand.

I don't know if I ever will.

And that leaves me uneasy...

Forever feeling in my heart that my loved ones are SOMEWHERE

But where...

I can't fathom...

Somewhere only the phantom harp player knows...

My mind stretches only far enough for me to know they are somewhere beyond my heart...

And that I will be there, too, one day.

I don't understand you, death.

I don't know what happens to souls when they leave bodies.

I can't help but continuously try and try to solve your algorithm like another puzzle in the palm of my hand...

You are beyond words and numbers and simple human thoughts...

CJ's Blankies 4 My Buddies Project

Help my little cousin, CJ, raise money to provide blankets for children everywhere! 

Stargazing pt.2

Well...that was quick right? Ehehehe...

I doubt I'm going to remember to keep up with that picture in the first Stargazing post sooooo

New idea.!

..IF I remember to gaze at the stars

and IF my phone decides to take a swell picture

THEN I will keep up with it...

otherwise, it's a no go mo fro.

Ahahaha yes I laugh at my own jokes...

If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone else properly...

If you don't laugh at your own jokes...you must not be very funny!

laugh my ass off...

yes...

i did that..

peas,
mous3 <:3 )~

Summed Up So Far

My "love life" potentially summed up so far:

1990ish - 2002
Oblivious Treasure.

2002 - 2008
Innocent fool.

2008 - 2009
Naive hero.

2009 - 2011
Blind optometrist.

a few months in early 2011
Heartbroken sidekick.

a few months in mid 2011
Emotional android.

and finally, late 2011 to now...
I can't even think of some witty 2 word tag line to label myself with.

I imagine I can come back to this post in a few years and say something like Adored Wife...

I think that's a possibility.

He's going to say something like "No, it's a certainty."

I love that about him.

:)

Goodnight!

<3 Mouse

Stargazing

I do love the universe...

I'm going to try to follow along with this list and take pictures as well as my phone can. :)

I'll just edit them into this...

January 21st -