Goals or something

In 2 Fridays I will be 22.

Before I turn 23, I want to make myself significantly better in as many ways as I can.

I want to know what it is I want to be doing for the next 5 or 10 years.

I want to be more flexible.

I want to be a better artist, musician, and writer.

How will this be measured?

Well, for the flexibility, it's fairly easy. I can't touch my toes without bending my knees and I can't do the splits either.

I want to be able to do both of these things before I turn 23 or at least be able to touch my toes.

I used to be able to.

I haven't been stretching...

The art is fairly easy to measure as my skill in drawing humans is lacking a lot.

I'll just compare my drawings for the next year and see if there's any improvement.

The same is said for my guitaring/keyboarding/singing...

I know that I am a better singer now than I was last year at this time. I wasn't even playing keyboard last year at this time so that's an improvement.

And my guitaring I don't feel like I've improved, but I know that I can a LOT and I want to.

I need to not be discouraged.

Or more so

I need to be encouraged.

As a kid, I would do things and my parents would be proud of it.

Now, it's kind of like I'm on my own for that.

But my work is not really anything I'm proud of anymore.

And no one else seems exceptionally fond of it.

My boyfriend likes it most of the time.

And his encouragement helps.

But I don't get it all the time.

Because he's far and busy getting his music and school together.

So, it's mostly just me for now.

...

I wonder if anyone even reads my blog anymore...

Besides myself...

Who knows...

It's hard to tell who really cares about your life you know?

I care about a lot of people.

I wish I could interact with more of them more often.

I don't know if they see me the same way.

I don't know if they are even the same person anymore.

But what I remember of them, I miss.

And what I see, I want to be a part of.

But most people like to jump in and out of my world as is convenient.

I hope Shakespeare wants to be around me all the time.

I hope I can call you Shakespeare.

If not, then you might be something more clever...

Something that fits who you are...

Can't wait to bring you home kitty...

Clarity

Why do people think that if they repeat something exactly the way they said it the first time,

that that is clearing it up?

I didn't understand what you wanted the first time you said it.

What makes you think I will understand when you say it the second time?

I keep asking questions because YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!

I ask questions so that when you look at what I did,

there's no reason it should be wrong

because I did what you told me you wanted.

But if I don't even know what you want

because you don't know how to give proper direction,

you can't tell me I did something wrong.

You didn't even tell me what to do right in the first place.

That's like saying take you to your house,

even though I don't even know who you are.

And if I ask where it is or what it looks like you reply with "MY HOUSE.

It looks like MY HOUSE."

Yes.

I know...

AND WHAT THE HELL DOES YOUR HOUSE LOOK LIKE?!

aghh....

It's so frustrating...

When someone doesn't understand,

and you NEED them to understand,

you CLARIFY by giving new examples and explaining things in a DIFFERENT way.

You answer their question with a NEW ANSWER.

NOOOOTTT the exact same thing you said before...

>_<

headache...

Hello

I haven't blogged in a while, I know. I guess I haven't really had much to say. Or...everything I do want to say, I just say to my boyfriend because I can do that now. I can say whatever is on my mind right to a live person who actually cares instead of to possibly no one or worse, to someone who doesn't want to hear it. I've also said a lot to Twitter I guess. Most things are just...short...bleh I'm bored...

Peace,
Mouse